It is the height of hubris to grant forgiveness to someone who hasn’t the conviction of wronging you.  Unless the apology is offered, and the wrong admitted, public “forgiveness” simply is one more way to finger point and to put oneself above blame.  It is better to forgive the unrepentant in your heart, and to yourself, to heal any wounds caused by resentment and bitterness over crimes committed.  It is difficult to forgive when there has been no apology afforded.  It is nearly impossible to accept forgiveness when you find little or no wrongdoing in your actions. 

                Better then to search your soul and find anything you have done to harm another, and offer up the heartfelt apology.  Admitting where you have done wrong, and vowing to never repeat the offence.  How much more damage would be healed if we were to admit when we have done wrong?  How much better would the world be if we could privately forgive and publicly apologize?  Remove all finger pointing that points to someone other than yourself.  Cast all blame aside.  Apologize for any harm, admit that you are imperfect, and cast aside all condemnation and accusation. 

                 

This is what I found on the counter after my Sweet Honey had left for work yesterday.  It's still there, I can't bring myself to put it away.  Sometimes it's the little things that melt my heart the most.

Please leave me some comments, let me know what you think.

Things that suck about being 43: #2

Things that suck about being 43:

#2

Gray hair, facial hair, body hair, thinning hair.  There are hair issues.   Trust me on this.  To varying degrees we will all experience one or all of these.  No one warned me.  That last statement isn’t entirely true.  My Aunt warned me, or should I say cursed me, “Do you see these chin hairs, Cristy?  You’re a Howland; you will have them one day! HAAAAAhahahahahaaaa (insert evil laugh here)!”  I didn’t believe her.  I should have listened.

I got my first gray hair a matter of weeks after my firstborn son was born.  I blame him for at least half of the subsequent grays.  Some of the rest belong to his brother, and his step-sisters, and of course my husband, my ex-husband, and my husband’s ex (ok, she gets a lot of blame!). 

Grey hair is pretty straight forward.  You either live with it, and look 10 years older than your husband who is actually 6 years older than you, or you fight it, and dye, dye, dye.  I have been dying my hair for most of my adult life, except for when I was pregnant or breast feeding;  I have dyed my hair consistently since I was 16 years old.  I have been every color except or black.  The problem with dying is that my hair always fades from whatever color I have chosen (which varies with my mood), to brass within a couple of weeks.  Dark brown , light brown, blonde, hombre, highlights, streaks, you name it, it all goes to brass.  Not pretty.

Then there’s the curse of my Aunt.  Facial hair!  I realize that there are a number of you who never suffer from this evil bane.  You all can kiss my heinie, and skip to the next paragraph.  It’s bad enough to have a little mustache or a few extra hairs here and there, but why are there hairs coming out of every mole and freckle on my face?  WTH!?!?!?!  I had finally come to terms with this when I realized that some o the hairs growing out of the moles were turning white!  What the actual F*@%?  I am conflicted.  Am I happy that the hairs are less noticeable, or am I sad that I’m so old that the scary mole hairs are turning white?

Body hair, ugh.  Dip me in Nair.  Seriously.  My mother once told me that she was fine with the grey on her head, but when her pubic hair turned grey, THEN she felt old.  The second wisest thing she ever told me.  

Thinning hair.  CRAPITY-CRAP!  Another family curse.  My grandmother, bless her, was the sweetest woman, and GOD blessed her with a permed see through halo of fuzz on the top of her head.  There wasn’t a lot to work with there.  I fear the fate.  I started to notice thinning around the age of 38.  The vitamins, careful brushing, and trimmings help.  The biggest factor (for me) that contributes to hair loss is stress.  If I can keep the stress to a minimum, I notice a real difference.  I guess Gramma was really, really, really stressed.